Old Man Slashes Woman’s Tires Over A Bingo Seat Argument

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Today’s idiot of the day is 82 year old Fred Smith from Lake Wales, Florida. Smith got so angry at fellow old person Ethel Britt that he slashed her tires with an ice pick. What did this monster Ethel do to deserve getting her tires slashed like Carey Underwood’s cheating boyfriend? Well, she took Smith’s seat in the bingo hall. Seems that old folk take their bingo a little more seriously than we might have thought, as is apparent by Smith rage induced slashing. I mean geez Fred, whatever happened to “move your feet, lose your seat?”

The face of a seat stealing menace.
The face of a seat stealing menace.

As someone from Florida, I’m always disappointingly asking my state, “why Florida? Why do you keep doing this to me? You’re such a great state, but ever since I moved out of you all I hear on the news is stories about how weird you are. Get your act together Florida, you’re making me look bad.”

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