Just when you think you’ve seen it all, a story like this comes along and slaps you back to reality. Somewhere in Thailand yesterday, a man was caught sneaking into an auto garage and sexually assaulting a Porsche 911. The CCTV video, which was uploaded to LiveLeak, first captures the man snooping around outside, on the lookout for anyone who might interfere with his business. When he feels comfortable enough to approach the car, he quickly decides to hit it from the back, sticking his dick into the car’s tailpipe:
The man quickly jumps out of the doggy style position, clutching his junk in pain. If the Porsche had recently been running, there’s a good chance that this poor fellow stuck his wiener in a hole that was a lot hotter than he thought:
But what do you do when you fall off your horse? That’s right, you get back on and put your dick in the car’s grill. The man without hesitation switches over to missionary position, and finishes his business in about 6 seconds. If you thought the car was fast, this guy is even faster. Seriously, did the tailpipe foreplay do that much for him?
Once the story went viral on Reddit, the Porsche jokes started coming in quickly. Meat_Tray_Raffle wrote “Dick in a Boxter,” which was followed up by the equally funny line from americanboyinsweden, “He Cayman the grill.” Stay classy Reddit, stay classy.