The Best Bernie Sanders Jokes We’ve Heard So Far

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Bernie Sanders has been one of the most talked about political figures of the last two years, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be joked about. These are the best Bernie Sanders jokes on the internet, all right here in one place for you. This includes Bernie Sanders 1% jokes, humor about Bernie Sanders supporters, and more. Whether you’re “feeling the bern” or not, you can at least appreciate some of these clever jokes about Bernie Sanders.

He’s certainly an interesting character, and while many call him a socialist, he seems to have good intentions (whether or not those intentions are good for the country is another discussion.) Please enjoy our collection of Bernie Sanders riddles and jokes, and don’t forget to go vote, no matter who you’re voting for.

Short Bernie Sanders Jokes

Q: I donated $10 to Bernie’s campaign recently
A: Don’t worry women, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.

Q: What’s the only similary between Bernie and Hillary’s speeches?
A: They both inspire you to vote against Hillary Clinton

Q: What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates?
A: Mom and Dad

Q: Bernie Sanders is challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?
A: I thought he didn’t care about the 1%!

Q: Why does Bernie Sanders only write in lowercase letters?
A: Because he hates capitalism.

Q: Why did the Vatican invite Bernie Sanders and not Hillary?
A: They couldn’t afford her

Q: How can you tell Bernie Sanders supporters are dumber than Hillary fans?
A: Hillary supporters spam social media for cash, while Bernie supporters do it for free.

Q: How do you know if someone is a Bernie Sanders supporter?
A: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you

Q: Why does Bernie Sanders strongly support marijuana users?
A: Because his success is dependent on a high voter turnout

Q: Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?
A: Only 1% can stay above the water

Q: What do you call a really well-researched Bernie Sanders supporter?
A: Imaginary

Q: Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally?
A: There were a lot of people, but I wouldn’t say it was super pac’d.

Q: What was the White House renamed to when Bernie Sanders was elected president?
A: The Sand Castle

Q: What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?
A: Remove only the top 1% please!

More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Bernie vs Hillary

If President Bernie Sanders were to die in office and an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie’s was undertaken to cover up that fact, he’d still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.

 

President Bernie and the NSA

After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people’s cell phone/internet communications. The General sighed and shook his head. “Some men just want to watch the world, Bern.”

 

Bernie and Trump

Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a local pub on Christmas Eve.

Bernie Sanders says to the bartender, “Hello, can I have a drink?” and is promptly served.

Donald Trump walks up to the same bartender and says “Merry Christmas, can I have a drink? And by the way, bartender, you are a disgusting slob. I hate your guts. You’re also bald. I hope that you die tonight. When I become president I will make sure to deport ugly and bald people like you.”

The entire bar looks in shock. A news reporter who was there at that time asks a redneck who was watching the whole thing, “What do you think of this?”

The redneck replies “That was absolutely f***ing disgusting – Bernie Sanders didn’t say Merry Christmas!”

Bernie Sanders Golfing

At the golf course one Sunday, Bernie Sanders is about to putt, when a funeral procession turns the corner just off the course and begins to roll by.

Bernie straightens up from his putter, takes his hat off, and holds it over his heart. He stands there silently like that, facing the procession, until it passes. Then he bends over again and makes his putt.

“That was a very thoughtful gesture,” a member of his foursome says to him as they walk towards the next tee. “You are one compassionate guy.”

“Thank you,” replies Bernie. “We would have been married 25 years next Tuesday.”

If you liked those, don’t forget to check out our other lists of funny Hillary Clinton jokes and the best Donald Trump jokes. Are there any particular people or things you want us to create joke pages for? Let us know on Facebook, we love hearing from you guys!

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